For as Long as it Takes

Is it alright for me to say goodbye, for a while? Not forever goodbye, but goodbye for long enough; long enough to not love you like I do?

Is it alright for me to love myself and think I'm great?

I was blinded by that nasty disease, jealousy.

I thought our love might out live all our shouting of whatever the hell we were heated about. I'd hoped we might focus instead on our love; those moments of laughter, the slow dips, the toast in bed.

I thought maybe you loved me more than you did.

Can I smile now that I'm no longer crying?

No. My sorrow and longings are less, but the strength of my joy has not fully returned.

My heart is still bruised, but it no longer aches.

And I will smile again. Someday.

namaste, my love.